Thursday, June 20, 2013

Classroom quips, chapter the last

Cleaning out my public school teacher's desk perhaps for the last time, I found my notebook of quips. I'll miss these kids dearly.

To set up a debate, I had the kids divide themselves between pacifists and supporters of war. Most kids went the war-supporting side. One of the pacifists, a sixth grader, looked across at his opponents and mumbled, "you people are sick."

me: (inspirationally) I want you guys to write a paragraph about he person YOU ARE.

Mariano: 256!

me: what, Mariano?

Mariano: It's 128 times 2

me: couldn't have said it better myself

Gerardo was crying in class. When I asked him why, he wouldn't speak. I allowed him to write about his feelings, and he wrote that he was scared of Captain Underpants books at his house. I told him he should stop reading those books.

The next day, he came in with two Captain Underpants books and set them on my desk. I said to him, "oh, you want to give these to me because they're scared to have them at your house?"

He nodded and replied, "four dollars."

I got out my wallet and completed the unforeseen transaction. Gerardo walked back to his seat as if this interaction fit squarely into his expectations.

Mario: Man, kids are saying I have ADD.

Me: You do.

Mario: Aww, man! I'm crazy?!

Me: No, that just means you have a hard time paying attention.

Mario: Oh, good.

Me: Do any of you have a step mom or step dad?

Niko: I have a whole bunch of step dads!

Rosa: Who was George Bush again?

Paloma: the white guy....the president....we hated.

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