Saturday, March 17, 2012

the flip side of Spring

Spring is a bitter-sweet time in Little Village. Like elsewhere, crocuses  and daffodils stir hope, and robins' songs lighten your heart. Remembering the joys of cooking and playing outside has everbody happy. But with better weather always come increased violence.

This afternoon, a six-year-old girl who goes to my kids' school was shot and killed. This is the 5th murder in the neighborhood this week. As hard as it is for me to raise my family amidst hatred, ripe and armed, how much harder for the kids who were born into the gang lifestyle, or whose families are its direct victims?

News like this always stirs us to want to do something. The church we attend is working hard for peace. Below I'm posting two examples. One is an e-mail from our pastor, Paco, describing a talk he gave at a vigil/ rally held by the Latin Kings this week after one of their own was shot. The other is a video about a project our church has just launched, to convert our sanctuary into a gym that will be a safe and positive place for our neighborhood's children to spend their time. Please pray and give as you feel led.



It was a great priviledge to address a group of over 50 gang bangers right at the doorstep of the house where Johny was killed.  

The Lord led the entire time. It was a bit surreal. 

I asked them forgiveness in the name of their fathers for not loving them out of this life style into a better one (many, even guys began to sob at that moment).  and then asked them to forgive the two sixers. told them that Jesus willingly was killed by the folk and the people so they wouldnt have to be killed. too many eyes were looking down by that time. then lucky for me, the Lord led me to finish with his, the Lord's, prayer (forgive us as we forgive...)  I asked them: does Little Village look like the King's will is being done as it is done in heaven?
  
when i finished a girl stepped up and said "that goes for us bimbos... (at least that is what I thought she said--i was ready for anything by then) and called them to leave the gang style as well.  Then she turned around and infront of us asked her mama forgiveness.  MOthers stepped up and held her. others spoke. and then the Lady who leads the gang house where the guys were shot (its a regular gang place: she described herself as a thug mother) invited me in. she and I knelt by the couch where Johny laid and there she gave her life to Jesus. 

I am going tomorrow to bring her a bible and a couple of ladies to love on her. 

I was so glad for this privilege. I know violence will continue in some measure or another but as Matt was saying today, we are now moving at a different level of influence among the young guys of our hood. 

When I began pastoring full time Kevin lend me a cd by a guy who spoke on the influence of staying long term in one place. I am seeing that. 

It was funny, Doc Fuder came by the hood this morning with a group of about 30 people from the conference where pastor Mark and Matt were speaking. they prayed exactly for this kind of thing as they prayed over me. 

I am thinking... prayer does work, doesnt it.

so blessed to be part of this team. thanks guys. 
paco


Wednesday, January 4, 2012

music of 2011

I've been looking for a good excuse to write about some of the music I've been listening to lately. I still haven't found one, but I've decided that the end of the year is occasion enough. So what you've got here is a list of the top 6 albums that have impacted me over the course of this year. I limited it to 6 because that's the exact number of albums that I've engaged in over the year. Before I get into the specific albums, I just want to comment that a few years back I decided to stop listening to isolated songs and instead listen to whole albums. I've found that in listening this way I start  to know the artist's heart, and can find themes of thinking running across albums and even across artists' careers that bring much more meaning to the music.


#6 Sara Groves, Invisible Empires.

Sara Groves is one of those artists whose albums I've listened to over time.  Some of her work over the years has been brilliant. I wouldn't put Invisible Empires in that category, but I respect her as a poet, and as one who is thinking seriously about God and society, and so I keep listening.  She ends the ablum with a song called "Finite" about being a woman in this world of ours, and it's a good'n.




#5 Randall Goodgame, Slugs and Bugs: Under where?

This kids album is about 8 parts goofy, and 2 parts serious. I am thankful for the messages it sends through my home, and hope that they seep into and form my kids understanding of the character of God. The goofiness is about holes in socks, making oneself dizzy, and going pee in the potty - communicating that silliness goes with being a kid, and celebrating that fact. The seriousness is no joke: its about the fact that kids are loved specially by God, and it teaches kids what to do with their own sin. The song "God made you Special" has choked me up more than once. And even though its an album for kids, the instrumentation and production of the album makes it enjoyable for me, too.

#4 Paul Simon, Surprise

This album took me about three hearings to like, and about ten to love. And the more I listen, the better it gets. Each song deserves to be studied for meaning, and enjoyed for it's ambitious production. The album makes me think of a letter that Paul Simon has written to America. He  asks the big questions with these songs, and ventures to answer them, too.   This review, I think, gives a good picture of the album, if you're interested in reading more. 



#3 Josh Garrels, Love and War and the Sea in Between

Like all of Josh Garrels's albums, this mostly sounds like hip-hop, with occasional meanderings into ballads or waltzes. You read that right. Josh's lyrics are truly mind-blowing. What intrigues me most about him is just how deeply Christian he is. He isn't boiling Christianity down to some take-home truths to apply to life. He is clear about the fact that Christ Himself, and not self-denial, or beauty or justice,  is the center of our hope and the source of our being and joy.

Give the song below a listen. Notice how in the first verse, he casts a vision of resistance to society like someone who knows that we have to fight the systems that oppress in order to pursue justice, but in the second verse it becomes clear just how Christ-centered his vision is.


The album is free. Go get it.

#2 Mumford and Sons, Sigh no More

I've already written quite enough about this album. I still can't help popping it in when I've got a long trip by myself. The album always reminds me what I care about and inspires me to be who I am.

#1 Ben Shive, The Cymbal Crashing Clouds

Ben Shive plays piano and produces music for Andrew Peterson and several other artists around Nashville. His best work, though, is what he's done with the songs he, himself has written. I met Ben last February and I told him that his first album, The Ill-Tempered Klavier, was my favorite. This is his second work, and it has been no disappointment. This is music like none you've ever heard before. He is producing Christian music that is not a spin-off of any sound a secular artist has made. His music wont gain popularity for just that reason, but I bet he's okay with that. His albums will be most appreciated by people who have ventured to make music or make poetry.

In this album, he's dug every instrument out of the closet. It's clear that beauty and the "right sound" trumped timeliness in every decision.  He may use a choir of violins and an electric guitar for just a bridge, and a horns and woodwinds only for a second verse. There are times in the album where it's hard to pick apart how many sounds are coming at you at once, and he still somehow maintains unified themes and variations. Stylistically, he's all over the board. He jumps from sounding like Ben Folds to the Beach Boys, from folk to pop. Lyrically, the songs are about everyday life on their surface, with deep theological meaning underneath. In short, Ben Shive music stretches me in all sorts of ways, and I love it.  Maybe you will, too?

Below is a youtube video you can play to hear the song he starts the album with, "Listen!" It's about waiting for a train to come in the middle of the night in a small town. And it's about the second coming of Christ. I suggest you throw some headphones on before you hit play so you can hear all sounds he strings together, and all the biblical allusions, too.





Honorable Mention: I'd also like to add an honorable mention category for the music of Eminem. My students adore him because he seems real to them and because he sings about their lives and their pain. They might not now what life is like outside of their neighborhood, but they know the pain they feel inside, and Eminem's eloquent acknowledgment of his pain somehow validates them.  The kids have encouraged me to watch some of his videos, and I have been impressed. Eminem is clearly a deeply unhealthy man, but that is not stopping him from shepherding some of our nation's most needy, lonely and fatherless youth, who are growing up like he did.

Thursday, December 22, 2011

so why did you decide to homeschool?

In the middle of answering Math questions about clutches of python eggs, another question came to him. And because no one else was there, and because we were in a safe place, and because there was no reason why not to, he just asked it. "Dad, was Jesus really God's only son? I mean, what about the Holy Spirit?" So we talked about it for a few minutes. And then it was back to the clutches.

Now I'm not trying to get all Ann Voskamp on you. (mute your speakers before you click!) But here are some other cool moments from our three week long homeschooling stint.






Wednesday, December 14, 2011

To know a place

Beth and I moved to Little Village just shy of 10 years ago. We've reflected lately just how in-over-our-heads we were when we came here, without having realized it. The following paragraphs from Wendell Berry's essay, "People, Land and Community" resonated with me in thinking about the work and time it has taken to know this place.

"One's connection to a newly bought farm will begin in love that is more or less ignorant. One loves the place because present appearances recommend it, and because they suggest possibilities irresistibly imaginable. One's head, like a  lover's, grows full of visions. One walks over the premises, saying, "If this were mine, I'd make a permanent pasture here; here is where I'd plant an orchard; here is where I'd dig a pond." These visions are the usual stuff  of unfulfilled love and induce wakefulness at night.

When one buys the farm and moves there to live, something different begins. Thoughts begin to be translated into acts. Truth begins to intrude with its matter-of-fact. One's work may be defined in part by one's visions, but it is defined in part too by problems, which the work leads to and reveals. And daily life, work, and problems gradually alter the visions. It invariably turns out, I think, that one's first vision of one's place was to some extent an imposition on it. But if one's sight is clear and if one stays on and works well, one's love gradually responds to the place as it really is, and one's visions gradually image possibilites that are really in it. Vision, possibility, work, and life - all have changed by mutual correction. Correct discipline, given enough time, gradually removes one's self from one's line of sight. One works to better purpose then and makes fewer mistakes, because at last one sees where one is. Two human possibilities of the highest order thus come within reach: what one wants can become the same as what one has, and one's knowledge can cause respect for what one knows."

He explains a couple paragraphs before this excerpt that though he is talking directly about farming, he is talking indirectly about marriage, too. Go ahead, read it again.

Here, also, is a link to a a recording of Berry reading the whole essay 30 years ago.

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

A Thanksgiving Poem

Andrew Peterson is a singer, novelist and purveyor of high quality Christian art who has had about as much influence on my life as anyone I don't know. I'm currently reading his first novel, On the Edge of the Dark Sea of Darkness to my 7th grade class. The kids keep asking me if it's been made into a movie yet. Here is a link to a poem he wrote about this week's holiday. Happy Thanksgiving.

Saturday, November 19, 2011

The Immanual Appraoch

Last weekend I went to Jackson, Tennessee to learn about the Immanuel Approach to prayer - a method people are using to recognize the presence of Jesus in their past as well as in the present. I wont get into specifics on this post, but I will say that one week in, I've found the Immanuel Approach to prayer and to life to be a very good antidote to the problem most Christians I know have had in accessing and recognizing Jesus' presence in day-to-day life. It's been a good week for me. Karl Lehman is the guy who's spreading the good news of this approach to prayer and inner healing. Here is a link to his website, where you can find all sorts of articles that explain this further.

Thursday, September 29, 2011

Ann

If you're a woman, you might like reading you some Ann Voskamp. I like reading me some, despite my not being a woman. Beth and I get her blog posts sent to our e-mail address almost daily, and everytime I open them, I feel like I'm looking through my mom's Better Homes and Gardens magazine, but enjoying it.

This is the post she sent out today, writing about some of the same things I've tried to write about on this blog, but writing about them better and womanlier than I ever could.

Thursday, September 22, 2011

Classroom Quips, 9-21-11

The BFG by Roald Dahl has some pretty pacifistic teachings. I decided to turn these teachings into a little 6th-grade debate. The kids went to one side of the room if they could not see a justification for war and the other side if they could. Bernardo, who until today I  thought to be one of my lowest-level thinkers, placed himself with the pacifists. He looked across the room, shook his head and muttered under his breath, "You people are sick."

And also from this week...
Me: I'm gonna tell you guys a scary story. One time I was in Florida,
Lalo: (leaning forward) Oh yeah, Florida's scary.

Me: I've got a point for anyone who can tell me what I'm thinking right now.
Hugo: Man, these kids are getting annoying.

 And a couple others that I didn't post from last year...

Javier farted. He looked around for who he might blame, but there were only 2 other students in the room. Realizing he was caught, he said "awww," disgusted, and waved his hand behind his seat to push away the smell.

Me: Who can tell me the capital of Alaska?
Arturo: A
Me: Mmmm, heh heh, and the capital of Virginia?
Arturo (with growing confidence): V!

Javier: Why doesn't this school buy 100% milk stead of just 1%

Javier was supposed to be reading the sentence, "The dog in the bathtub is a mess."
Javier: "The dog in the bathtub is a mouse."
me: Whoa! The dog is a mouse?
Javier: apparently

Saturday, September 10, 2011

Given

I recently finished working through Given, a collection of poems by Wendell Berry. The poems are stinging, funny, prophetic; it's as if they come from a wisdom beyond our age. The second half of the book consists of what he calls "Sabbaths," - poems he writes in the woods on Sundays - broken up by year, from 1998 through 2004. The following is one of the Sabbaths from 2003 (a year in which Berry's Sunday walks resulted in one fine poem after another). Go ahead and read it aloud and slowly.




Look Out

Come to the window, look out, and see
the valley turning green in remembrance
of all springs past and to come, the woods
perfecting with immortal patience
the leaves that are the work of all of time,
the sycamore whose white limbs shed
the history of a man's life with their old bark,
the river under the morning's breath quivering
like the touched skin of a horse, and you will see
also the shadow cast upon it by fire, the war
that lights its way by burning the earth.

Come to your windows, people of the world,
look out at whatever you see wherever you are,
and you will see dancing upon it that shadow.
You will see that your place, wherever it is,
your house, your garden, your shop, your forest, your farm,
bears the shadow of its destruction by war
which is the economy of greed which is plunder
which is the economy of wrath which is fire.
The Lords of War sell the earth to buy fire,
they sell the water and air of life to buy fire.
They are little men grown great by willingness
to drive whatever exists into its perfect absence.
Their intention is to destroy any place is solidly founded
upon their willingness to destroy every place.

Every household of the world is at their mercy,
the household of the farmer and the otter and the owl
are at their mercy. They have no mercy.
Having hate, they can have no mercy.
Their greed is the hatred of mercy.
Their pockets jingle with the small change of the poor.
Their power is in their willingness to destroy
everything for knowledge which is money
which is power which is victory
which is ashes sown by the wind.

Look out your windows and go out, people of the world,
go into the streets, go into the fields, go into the woods
and go along the streams. Go together. Go alone.
Say no to the Lords of War which is Money
which is Fire. Say no by saying yes
to the air, to the earth, to the trees,
yes to the grasses, to the rivers, to the birds
and the animals and every living thing, yes
to the small houses, yes to the children. Yes.








Tuesday, August 30, 2011

And it Shone Through a Banana...

It's always this way. It's always a mixed bag. We're always mixed bags. There are successes and failures, love and hate, virtue and vice, whizzing around us and out of us more quickly than we can label them.

Even though it was a day in which one of my 7th graders was pulled to the hallway so a dime bag could be pulled from his shoe. And even though the kid who had given him the dime bag begged the principal for mercy because he was earnestly trying to help his mom pay the bills. And even though another of my students is resisting school and guidance because she is worn out with her reading disability and appears more and more to be biding her time until she can  drop out, the virtue still shone through today. And it shone through a banana.

You see, there's this brother and sister at my school. The brother is about as rough as they come, and he and his little sister are late every day, which  means they miss the universal breakfast that the other kids get. And it means that the two kids stay hungry most days  'til their 12:00 lunchtime. Well, in between 1st and 2nd period, as the sister walked out of my Special Ed. room, and her brother walked in, the brother took out a banana that he'd gotten from who-knows-where, and split off half for his sister. And before I thought to ask the boy why he was eating contraband food in the hallway, the sister offered an answer to a more important question, "He's my brother, he takes care of me."

Monday, August 22, 2011

Safe Families needed

After the news of Dashiyah's death, we decided it was time to get back into Safe Families again. So last week we had two boys for five days. On Wednesday we will be taking a 2-year-old. Safe Families of Chicago is still looking for a place for his 3-year-old brother. The placement is for 6 weeks.

If you live near Chicago, you can get signed up to be a Safe Families host family for a child or a set of siblings. It's a pretty simple process, and you can dramatically impact a child's life. This video shows Katie Curic's take on the program.



Katie Couric on Safe Families for Children from John Norton on Vimeo.



Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Our Dashiyah

 Two years ago we helped a family by keeping their daughter, Dashiyah for about six weeks, while her parents found a home that was suitable for their large family. Our close friends, the Kimballs, took care of her brother, Joey, who was 3 at the time.


We found out on Sunday that Dashiyah, Joey and one other brother died in a house fire back in April.


We are all deeply grieved and rattled by this news.

Here are some picture of this sweet and playful little girl.

Man, we miss her.

















Sunday, July 31, 2011

Arrabon

Sunday, July 31, 9:45 am, Chicago, Illinois

Back home, between the last of the summer trips, and glad to be here. Eli's trying to dribble a full-sized basketball between his four-year-old sized legs, and sticking with it, despite the impossibility. Leeli is sound asleep and almost one. Suzy is on the tire swing under the shade of the swing set, thinking and mumbling thoughts and imaginations. Her words never stop. Isaac is a vampire or a t-rex - he can't decide. His fangs are the outer tongs of a plastic fork, whose inner tongs are surely the newest of our house's perpetual supply of clutter. And for the moments when all we can do is long for the day of All Shall be Well, there are these, the blessed foretastes.




Friday, July 22, 2011

How to Be a Rich Christian (To Remind Myself)

I. Jesus said that it is hard for a rich man to enter the Kingdom of god.  So if you can avoid it, do.

II. If you can’t avoid it, accept it. Don't buy the nonsense that we're "'middle class." It is the global economy that has made us rich, so it is by global standards that we must compare ourselves.

III. When you make your budget, do it with a picture of a poor child propped up next to your spreadsheet. Keep that picture in your wallet. Make every big, out-of-the-ordinary purchase after you look at her desperate eyes.

IV. Give, give, give. Understand that it's not your money. The Old Testament is full of reminders that all that is is God's. Jesus told one rich man to give everything he had, just to enter into Jesus' kingdom. The early Christians, who were ready to be martyred, gave all they had. We, too, should be known by our giving. Give far beyond the traditional 10 percent, and to multiple recipients. Offer to God even the money in your savings or retirement accounts. If you don't have cash, give your time, give your space, give your thoughts.

V. Know the names and stories of many poor people. Always be owed something. When someone you forgot you knew comes up and tells you they'll be paying back that money you forgot you lent, you're on to something. 

VI. Do not compare yourself to other rich people. Keep in mind that anyone who appeals to the "standard of living" is trying to assuage their own discontentment with riches, which runs directly against the teaching of Christ and Paul.

VII. Remember: In our country, rich and poor used to live together. Sometimes on neighboring farms, other times within the same small town, other times on the same plantation. It was impossible for the rich to forget the poor existed. Now, it requires significant effort for us to remember them. Living isolated from the poor, a man forgets what it's like have a hungry family next door, to his own peril.

VIII. Read yourself into the parables as villain, or the warned. Watch how Jesus describes the hearts of the rich. Don't beat yourself up, just be warned and live accordingly.

IX. Understand this: The human mind is fickle. We can only think about what's in front of us. If the poor are not in front of us regularly, we will forget about them. After we've forgotten about them, after years surrounded by so much wealth, we as a people will forget how loving our neighbors and loving the poor were often one and the same. Reverse this trend in your own life wherever you can.

X. Read books and stories written by the poor. Read about their lives. Pick up news magazines and watch documentaries.

XI. If a news source offers easy answers to poverty, doubt their motives. If a news story lets you feel smug or justified in your wealth, know that they are vying for your vote or your money.

XII. Remember that to suffer is to be human. Reject all thoughts that suggest that comforts produce the abatement of suffering. It is by comforting ourselves that we can most assuredly insulate ourselves from our need for God. Accepting discomfort is an act of trust, and enables us to walk in faith. Consider that in the Bible, our spiritual ancestors, elected by God to do his work, always suffered. In the Bible, we always suffered. Like it says in Hebrews,

(The people of faith)...were tortured and refused to be released, so that they might gain a better resurrection. Some faced jeers and flogging, while sill others were chained and put in prison. They were stoned; they were sawed in two; they were put to death by the sword. They went about in sheepskins and goatskins, destitute, persecuted and mistreated - the world was not worthy of them."

XIII. See monetary gain as just as likely to harm one's soul as to help it, and beware un-Christian uses of the word, "blessing." The account of the blessings Isaac offered to Jacob and Esau show an understanding of "blessing" that is common throughout the Old Testament. To Jacob, "... May God give you of heaven's dew and of earth's richness - an abundance of grain and new wine. May nations serve you and peoples bow down to you. Be lord over your brothers, and may the sons of your mother bow down to you..." And to Esau, "Your dwelling will be away from the earth's richness, away from the dew of heaven above. You will live by the sword and you will serve your brother. But when you grow restless, you will throw his yoke from off your neck." This passage is typical of the Old Testament's and America's usage of the word. Those who are blessed are the rich, and those who are not are poor. Material gain and moves towards wealth are blessings.

Jesus turns this idea on its head, by saying that in His Kingdom, the blessed are the poor in spirit, those who mourn, the meek, the poor, those who hunger now, those who weep now. These “blessed are the…”statements, are not instructions, but instruction. Jesus is not saying, "try to be poor in spirit, or hungry," or even calling the rich to serve the poor. He is teaching us about the way things are. He is teaching us that in the Kingdom of God, those who suffer are in fact, blessed. He is showing us that sufferers are already close to His heart in ways we who are rich do not know. In the Beatitudes and elsewhere He is telling the Jewish people that they missed the boat on what blessing is all about. We who are rich Christians have mostly missed it, too. Know that the fulfillment of the simple wish, "God bless you," may require the loss of much that you hold dear.

XIV. Trust the Lord.  Jesus never told the rich to solve poverty. He did warn us again and again what will happen to our souls when we ignore it and wrap our lives around ourselves. Your job is to be faithful to Him. If He asks you to sell all you have and give it to the poor, trust that He loves you and don't worry about the consequences. If you take any of these steps outside of a relationship of trust in God, you will have done something good, but not as a Christian. Do whatever good you do with Christ, and find His peace as just one of the fruits.

Thursday, July 21, 2011

A message from Paco Amador


If we are to believe Google images, the guy in the picture is named Paco Amador. So is my pastor. The Paco Amador who is my pastor preached an excellent message last Sunday about keeping the Sabbath holy. Give it a listen, here.  

Monday, June 27, 2011

A post in which I conclude with an obvious thought...

I have walked or ridden my bike to work most days for the last 8 years of teaching. I enjoy the walking and what it means: that I live close enough; that I get to walk the same paths as my students; that my own footprints and not carbon's are the only ones I'm leaving. I remember one of my former delinquent students giving me a lift in his car which smelled densely of weed. I see the grin of Frank, a former student whom I'd worked hard to get into a therapeutic school,  as he flagged me down to introduce me to his own son. I hear a rooster's crow one winter morning, welcoming the sun and the day and filling me with thanksgiving.

On top of these moments, I enjoy the sense that I'm a part of something larger than me.  When I get to see third-world level poverty, drug deals and police hold ups it feels like I'm part of a movement of heroes of mine who have joined with their neighbors pain, and walked alongside them.  The walking pace is important, too, because it binds me to consider my neighbors and their lives for longer than my fickle, self-gravitating mind would allow me if I drove. In short, walking to work allows me to live out some ideals that are important to me.

But this school year, the one that ended last Friday, has been different from the others. My group of students was the hardest I've ever taught - the most emotionally needy, the most resistant to authority and instruction, the most directly challenging. The gang violence and influence in my classroom and on my route has been more pervasive. And I know that every bit of un-health in the streets and in our schools is just a fraction of what exists in peoples homes. My walks are often laden with the weight of my students' pain and questions of how I or anyone might reach them. With each dysfunctionality and violence I come across, my footsteps grow heavier.

Just last week as I walked up my front stairs after a long day of work, a pair of 9-year-old boys yelled "suck my dick" and added gestures for clarity, to a pair of girls, probably 10. The girls yelled equally offensive things right back. Friday morning's particular heaviness started around 8 o'clock, as I walked by the home of a former student, Sara, whose gang-banging brothers were up early, looking down the block, at some commotion. I followed their gazes and found Frank (the proud dad) held up against a chain-link fence while two cops waited for back-up. His niece, who graduated from 8th grade this week, was held up right next to him.

I shook my head, as my feet banged like bricks on the pavement. I trudged on past a group of early-arrived students, greeted the office ladies, ascended to my classroom and plopped down at my teacher's desk. As I stared at the black screen of my computer, all I could think was, "I gotta get a car!"

As much as I am a man of ideals, I'm seeing a  limit to the extent to which I can embody them. A crucial part of my teaching job is bringing fresh energy to students, who already at age 12 and 13, have given up.  But if walking past their houses each day brings me to despair before I even get there, well,  I suppose something's gotta give.

It's the same with our chickens. In November we bought 4 ISA Browns (like Rhode Island Reds), and have enjoyed all sorts of benefits from them. The amount of waste we had to have hauled to garbage dumps each weeks was cut drastically. We were able to better appreciate the work that goes into food production. And It gave the kids some meaningful chores, and an understanding of how breakfast got to their plates. There were lots of other benefits, too, but when the rats showed up in May and wouldn't go away no matter how carefully we managed the coop, it was time to give them up.

So I'm learning that in one life, in my one life, I can't do everything I care about. When I write that statement it feels laughably obvious, but I think it's worth saying anyway: We can only do what we can do.

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

N.T. Wright talks about reading the bible

My friend Tony posted a link to this video on his blog. It's so good and intriguing and instructive that I'm just plain stealing it. He wont care.

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Slow me

I've been writing short poems lately. Here's one.

Slow me: Thoughts from A Midday Break

Draw me in to what's not new or news.
Envelope me in what could never be hawked or branded.
Touch me with the oldest truths.
Slow me.

Show me the dust that I was and will be.
Let me hear the unending song,
and glory in whatever notes I can hear.
Open my ears.

Give me eyes to see beyond the here and now
so that I can see the now and here for what they are:
fractions, negative exponents of time and space,
and at the same tiny time and in the same tiny space, somehow,
filled with meaning.

Monday, April 25, 2011

On Mumford

The British band called Mumford & Sons has lately overtaken the space in my brain that furnishes the songs I hum. Stylistically the band is a mix of folk, rock and bluegrass. They write lyrics like philosophers and poets, drawing themes and lines from the likes of Shakespeare and Steinbeck. I aim in this quick review to examine the lyrics of a few songs on their only album, Sign No More, for what seems to me a close alignment with the Christian faith.

The album begins with its four singers slowly and pleadingly lamenting the way life is: full of pain; disappointment; hurt; bruises. Mid-song, they then seem to have found hope. The song changes styles; the banjo slung, the tempo rises, the toes tap, and it feels like they're possessed by the idea that the pain doesn’t win.

“Love, that will not betray you
Dismay or enslave you
It will set you free
Be more like the man, you were made to be.
There is a design,
An alignment to cry,
At my heart you see,
The beauty of love
as it was made to be.”

Man and Love being made, even designed, for a purpose; the notion that this purpose can be re-found; salvation from life’s pain; a future when sighing will cease…all persistent themes of the Bible’s story, all present in the title track, Sigh No More.

The vision for renewal of the "ought" comes back to us in the final track of the album, After the Storm. The Bible’s final track, the last chapters of Revelation, could have the same title. It says:
And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Look! God’s dwelling place is now among the people, and he will dwell with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God.  He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.

Mumford & Sons looks forward similarly, 

 There will come a time, you'll see, with no more tears.
And love will not break your heart, but dismiss your fears.
Get over your hill and see what you find there,
With grace in your heart and flowers in your hair.

Here again we have the Bible’s theme of salvation, and the new order of things, but this time with the addition of grace in the center, a distinctly Christian understanding of salvation. The idea of grace comes back over and again in the album, and each time it sounds Christian.


Mumford & Sons seem to use friendship as their canvas. Roll Away Your Stone sounds like one man inviting another to full life. The singer is the friend who in the end rejects the invitation. But the honesty of the conversation itself is a thing of beauty, highlighting the fact that giving up control of one’s life is not a decision that everyone can take.  More clearly Christian lines come from this song:

Seems that all my bridges have been burned
But you say that’s exactly how this grace thing works
It’s not the long walk home that will change this heart
But the welcome I receive with the restart

The Cave sounds like another conversation in which one man calls another to shake his friend alive. The final stanzas of the back and forth, sung on top of break-neck banjo picking, read:

And I will hold on hope
And I won't let you choke
On the noose around your neck

And I'll find strength in pain
And I will change my ways
I'll know my name as it's called again

These guys may not be believers.  One line asks "How can you say that your truth is better than ours?" Their recurrent use of the "f" word in Little Lion Man is a sign that if they are Christians, they wont be guests on Focus on the Family anytime soon. Whether or not they follow Jesus, though, there is something alive in their hearts and in their music that has been a help in my own Christian walk.

While I sat on my couch writing this review, I heard gunshots out my living room window, part of a recent uprising in traded blows between the rival 26 and Latin King street gangs in our neighborhood. Somehow the bald pain that Mumford & Sons acknowledges and owns, gives backbone to the hope they proclaim. Hope that promises the gunman and victim that there is a purpose for their creation, and that there is a love that can restore them to the men they were made to be. Hope that dares them and me to awaken our souls. Hope that relies on grace and not on a way we might try to save ourselves. Even as I write, it seems like a fool’s hope. But it is this old Christian hope that we hold to nonetheless.

Sunday, April 24, 2011

In Deed

Today's Chicago Tribune highlights Christians who have lost family members to murder, and who oppose the death penalty. One said:

"Easter is always such a reminder that violence and death are not the last word," she said. "They don't have power over us. Love and the love of God is the most powerful force on Earth and are eternal. This year as never before, I'm seeing that I not only need to love Nancy and Richard and the baby, I need to love the person who took their lives, love them the way God loves them. That's so brand new to me and makes me see so many things differently. … I feel a stone has been rolled away from my heart."

You can read her's and others' stories here.

Friday, March 11, 2011

Rob Bell's new book

The bad part about Rob Bell is that he's so dang cool. He dresses trendy and makes cool videos and cool Christians everywhere know him to be cool.

The good part about Rob Bell is that he raises really good questions, he's an excellent teacher and that he reads a lot of N.T. Wright, who isn't so trendy.

He wrote a new book called Love Wins: A Book About Heaven, Hell, and the Fate of Every Person Who Ever Lived. This is a link to a video in which his cool self talks over cool music and cool video footage about some really important age old questions. If you want to explore some of these questions without feeling like a geek, this may be a good book for you.

Monday, March 7, 2011

swiping out, part II


You may have noticed that I’ve been posting less often. This here’s an explanation…


The last time I posted I said I'd be taking a break from media for 25 days as a part of my church's 25-day fast. It was to celebrate our church's 25th year. (Boy, was I glad we're not Catholic!)

During the fast I found surprising communion with God, inner peace and efficiency at work related simply to not using the Internet, reading, or listening to music. As if my soul was taking a much-needed deep breath. And like I often do during fasts, I asked God, “How can I keep this going after the fast, in normal life?”

I sensed a clear response that I should limit my Internet usage to one hour per week. So for now, that’s what I’m doing. The result of this change has been continued efficiency while at work, far greater presence of mind when I’m at home with my wife and kids, and a surprising amount of enjoyment at the simplicity. I went from hopping on to check any number of sites whenever I pleased throughout the day, to saving all my Internet business to one sitting. And you know what’s weird? The same sites I used to go on multiple times per day, I don’t even care to look at anymore when my new hour quota recharges on Sunday. Nothing on the Internet feels urgent. Nothing is.  

So at least for now, I’ll be blogging less often. My wife, my kids and my soul are glad.

Sunday, January 2, 2011

swiping out

I'll be starting a 25-day media fast on Monday, so that means no Internet for me and no blog posts for you. How we'll suffer.

If you've never rested for a while from reading and hearing, I strongly encourage it. I do it a couple times a year, and it's something I've come to look forward to. The space that I generally cram full with information or entertainment will stay empty for a while. The quiet is hard to get used to at first, but after a week or so, it grows beautiful. Before long I will see and hear things that I wouldn't under "normal" circumstances. If past fasts are any indication, the Lord will speak. Rather, I will hear.

Upon returning to consumption of media, my first order of business will be to listen to an album by Mumford & Sons that I bought and loved tonight. They caught my attention because they have a song called "Timshel." The word forms the heart of East of Eden, John Steinbeck's masterpiece, and one of my favorite books. I'm right now finishing my second bout with the book. Maybe someday I'll write about the book and the word, Timshel.

For now, though, here's a video of a different Mumford & Sons song, The Cave. Maybe you'll love it too.

Monday, December 27, 2010

A 5-year-old's monologue

My Suzy doesn't realize she's recording, so she thinks her camera clicks are snapping pictures.
 
video

video

Thursday, December 23, 2010

The Sadness of Christmas

As a kid, I looked forward to Christmas with the best of 'em. 3 huge gift receivings awaited me each year, and I would be getting most everything I wished for, plus some pleasant surprises, too. In my mind, Christmas was the time to get set. All my problems, from acne to holey underwear, from boredom to nerdy clothes were on their way out the door. Satisfaction was just around the corner. Jesus had come, Santa was coming, and life would be better.

Looking back on those days, I recognize a recurring theme of sadness that crept to my heart in opening gifts. I would realize as I stacked the final presents onto my impressive mound that I was not, in fact satisfied. Even with my super-cool new Reebok windsuit, my Kirby Puckett rookie card (pictured), my silk shirt and my Steven Curtis Chapman CDs, I was still Brian. I would haul my wares happily to my room, admire them Gollum-like, and then feel the sadness come on.

As I got older I came to understand the sadness as greed's melody. So I reacted by trying to forget my own presents. I'd try not to think about what I might get, or to focus on others' happiness. As I failed in this effort, the sadness would come again, but with guilt as its dissonant accompanist. In opening presents, I found a limit to the fulfillment I longed for on Christmas day, and this in itself left an emptiness.

But it wasn't just the giving times that left a hollow. It was the fun with grandparents and cousins that I longed for all year that had to come to an end. It was the last game of bumper pool or Carroms. It was the race to see which cousin would get the last of Grandma Stipp's chocolate covered peanut-butter cracker sandwiches, or my Grandma Flint sneaking me a  few coconut and cream cheese snowballs for the ride home. As joyous and peaceful as these days were, they came to an end. And I remember feeling something more than sadness that comes when things don't go one's way. It was grief that seemed to always come with Christmas's end.

I think I know why.

As an adult, by celebrating the week's before Christmas during Advent, I have come to understand that Christmas day is only one part of the holiday. The whole Advent season celebrates the day of His first coming, but also points to Christ's return as the time when the world will finally be judged and put to rights; the time when my own greed would be gone, when the surrounding of profound love and safety would not end. We look forward during this time to Chirst's second advent, which means looking past today, dreaming of a new reality. He will come again, but He has not yet.

I believe there is a grief and longing native to this Holiday and even to our religion.  All is not celebration and praising. While the greed, the guilt and the loneliness that little boys and girls will feel this weekend will someday be wiped away, while the beautiful vision cast for us in Revelation 21, when he finally crushes once and for the forces that leave us empty is to come, it has not yet. And for that we have only to look forward. 

So when the sadness comes these days, I urge you to take it in stride. Look beyond the day to the future God has promised.

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

The Christmas Wars

I like this article's perspective on "Merry Christmas" vs. "Happy Holidays." It says that pressuring people who don't believe in Christ to use His name may be at the very heart of what it means to take the Lord's name in vain. Yet another suggestion from Evangelicals for Social Action's E-pistle.

Saturday, December 11, 2010

On the way to Montgomery

We’re driving down the country headed to Motgomery, Alabama to see our friends, the Jecks. We’re going in a way that runs against many of our ideals. Instead of taking the trip slow and drinking our country in with long drafts, we’re zipping along. We’re sticking to the unnatural and boring interstates opposed to the beautiful, intriguing countryside. Right now, in fact, we’re in Louisville, just 30 minutes from Wendell Berry’s Port Royal, Kentucky, a place whose beauty and significance I have read and thought much about. But we’re not stoppin’ to see, baby.  Not this trip. We’re blazing right past at 70 miles an hour. Instead of packing meals or getting supplies at small-time grocery stores we ate at a Dairy Queen and got coffees at McDonalds. Our Days Inn is within earshot of the zooming cars of I-65.

At some point, our interests and the kids’ needs come into competition. Here on this trip, their needs win. We find that as much as we need to live out what we believe, our kids have greater and more urgent pulls on our energy. They desperately need our training – a big job that takes all our attention. Suzy needs to feel protected and to be heard by her mommy and daddy. Eli needs to learn that apologizing first and then biting his brother just doesn’t fly. Isaac needs to hear when told to change his undies, “I already changed them once this week” isn’t an acceptable stance. And Leeli needs to stop every few hours for her mama’s milk, which means that the trip is long enough even on the interstates.

So instead of beholding the beauty outside our van, we’re focusing on the beauty within it. And there’s is a beauty as breathtaking as any we’re passing. And it is ours to nourish. 

Sunday, December 5, 2010

Christmas music suggestions

The existence of the Christian music industry boggles my mind. Not that Christians shouldn’t be making music, or singing about the Lord. We always have, and should. But what we find on the radio, benefiting from the industry, has been a poor imitation of secular pop music since I’ve been old enough to compare the two. The following are examples of good music that celebrates the coming of the Christ. Its singers’ discipleship is an inspiration to me moreso that their musicianship, which is also quite good.

1. Sara Groves is giving away copies of a live Christmas show she did in a women’s prison here in Illinois. This live album is good not for its sound quality but for the statement she is making by giving the concert in the first place. When my kids asked whose were the voices singing along with Sara, it was a joy to answer them, and let the joy-filled voices of women who did God-knows-what fall our ears together. Singing of Christ’s hope with inmates. That is both a proclamation and an enactment of the Kingdom.

2. Andy Gullahorn and Jill Phillips are a husband and wife team, and their first album together is called "Christmas," the unoriginality of which sounds like a sad conclusion to a marital argument to me. The album is good, but their rendition of "Nations that Long in Darkness Walked" is great. It adds a bridge that shows how this old hymn captures the central  message of the gospel, and the Christian's Advent longing.

“Nations That Long In Darkness Walked” by Andy Gullahorn



3. Randall Goodgame made a very fun kids' Christmas album, A Slugs and Bugs Christmas to accompany his and Andrew Peterson's Slugs and Bugs and Lullabies. Very good stuff. On the song the Happy Birthday Jesus, the "lump in my throat," is what I hope my own kids get as they realize all the hubbub is about the most important event in history.





4. And if you've never heard Peterson's Behold the Lamb of God: The True Tall Tale of the Coming of the Christ, it's the best. And you can hear the whole album here.
 
Items 2-4 can be purchased at the Rabbit Room Store, which I (obviously) frequent.

Monday, November 8, 2010

Family Pictures

A friend of ours from church gave us a family photo shoot as a welcoming gift to Rozalie. Here's a link to her blog where you can see a sampling.

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

N.T. Wright, on hell, my thoughts

I just wrote a long response to the N.T. Wright excerpt. Then I re-read his excerpt and found that I had pretty much written the same things as him, but not as well.

So very briefly, I really liked his tone on hell, "I am well aware that I have now wandered into territory that no one can claim to have mapped." And his suggestion that sin does more than separate us from God but threatens our very humanity was a new idea to me, and I think he's wright. (sorry)

Also, If you were too lazy to read the original post, or if you dig British accents, here he is saying many of the same things.


Tuesday, October 26, 2010

N.T. Wright, on hell: The Excerpt

Part 1 gives some context for this rather long excerpt from N.T. Wright about hell and final judgment. I hope you'll take the time to read it and give it some thought. 


God is utterly committed to set the world right in the end. This doctrine, like that of resurrection itself, is held firmly in place by the belief in God as creator, on the one side, and the belief in his goodness, on the other. And that setting right must necessarily involve elimination of all that distorts God's good and lovely creation and in particular of all that defaces his image-bearing human creatures. Not to put too fine a point upon it, there will be no barbed wire in he kingdom of God...

For "barbed wire," of course, read whichever catalog of awfulnesses you prefer: genocide, nuclear bombs, child prostitution, the arrogance of empire, the comodification of souls, the idolization of race. The New Testament has several such categories, functioning as red flashing lights to warn against going down a road that leads straight to a fenceless cliff. And in the analysis offered by early Christians from Paul onward, such patterns of behavior have three things to be said about them.

First, they all stem from the primal fault, which is idolatry, worshiping that which is not God as if it were. Second, they all show the telltale marks of the consequent fault, which is subhuman behavior, that is, the failure fully to reflect the image of God...Third, it is perfectly possible, and it really does seem to happen in practice, that this idolatry and dehumanization become so endemic in the life and chosen behavior of an individual, and indeed of groups, that unless there is a specific turning away from such a way of life, those who persist are conniving at their own ultimate dehumanization.

This is at the heart of the way in which I believe we can today restate the doctrine of final judgment. I find it quite impossible, reading the New Testament on the one hand and the newspaper on the other, to suppose that there will be no ultimate condemnation, no final loss, no human beings to whom, as C.S. Lewis put it, God will eventually say, "Thy will be done." I wish it were otherwise, but on cannot forever whistle "There's a wideness in God's mercy" in the darkness of Hiroshima, of Auschwitz, of the murder of children and the careless greed that enslaves millions with debts not their own. Humankind cannot, alas bear very much reality, and the massive denial of reality by the cheap and cheerful universalism of Western liberalism has a lot to answer for.

But if there is indeed final condemnation for those who, by their idolatry, dehumanize themselves and drag others down with them, the account I have suggested of how this works in practice provides a somewhat different picture from those normally imagined.

The traditional view is that those who spurn God's salvation, who refuse to turn from idolatry and wickedness, are held forever in conscious torment. Sometimes this is sharpened up by overenthusiastic preachers and teachers who claim o know precisely which sorts of behavior are bound to lead to hell and which, though reprehensible, are still forgivable. But the traditional picture is clear: such human beings will continue to be, in some sense, human beings, and they will be punished in an endless time.

This account in then opposed by the universalists. Sometimes they suggest...that God will be merciful even to the utterly abhorrent, to mass murderers and child rapists. Sometimes they modify this: God will continue, after death, to offer all people the chance of repentance until they finally give in to the offer of his love.

A middle way is offered by the so-called conditionalists. They propose "conditional immortality": those who persistently refuse God's love and his way of life in the present world will simply cease to exit. Immortality, such theories point out, is not (despite the popularity of Platonist!) an innate human characteristic; it is something that, as Paul says, only God possesses by right and hence is a gift that God can choose to bestow or withhold. According to this theory, then, God will dimply not confer immortality on those who in this life continue impenitently to worship idols and thereby to destroy their own humanness. This view is therefore sometimes known as annihilationaism; such people will cease to exist. That word, however, is perhaps too strong, suggesting that such people are actively destroyed rather than merely failing to receive a gift that had been held out to them and that they had consistently rejected.

Over against these three option, I propose a view that combines what seem to me the strong points of the first and third. The greatest objection to the traditional view in recent times - and the last two hundred years have seen massive swing toward universalism in the Western churches, at least the so-called mainstream ones - has come from the deep revulsion many feel at the idea of the torture chamber in the middle of the castle of delights, the concentration camp in the middle of the beautiful countryside, the idea that among the delights of the blessed we should include the contemplation of the torments of the wicked. However much we tell ourselves that God must condemn evil if he is a good God and that those who love God must endorse that condemnation, as soon as these pictures present themselves to our minds, we turn away in disgust. The conditionalist avoids this at the apparent cost of belittling those scriptural passages that appear to speak unambiguously of a continuing state for those who reject the worship of the true God and the way of humanness, which follows from it.

Using that analysis, though, presents us with the following possibility, which I believe does justice both to the key text and to the realities of human life of which, after a century of horror mostly dreamed up by human beings, we are not all too well aware. When human beings give their heartfelt allegiance to and worship that which is not God, they progressively cease to reflect the image of God. One of the primary laws of human life is that you become like what you worship: what's more, you reflect what you worship not only back to the object itself but also outward to the world around. Those who worship money increasingly define themselves in terms of it and increasingly treat other people as creditor, debtors, partners, or customers rather than human beings. Those who worship sex define themselves in terms of it (their preferences, their practices, their past histories) and increasingly treat other people as actual or potential sexual objects. Those who worship power define themselves in terms of it and treat other people as either collaborators, competitors, or pawns. These and many otehr forms of idolatry combine in a thousand ways, all of them damaging to the image-bearing quality of the people concerned and of those whose lives they tough. My suggestion is that it is possible for human beings so to continue down this road, so to refuse all whispering of good news, all glimmers of the true light, all prompting to turn and go the other way, all signposts to the love of God, that after death they become at last, by their own effective choice, beings that once were human but now are not, creatures that have ceased to bear the divine image at all. With the death of that body in which they inhabited God's good world, in which the flickering flame of goodness had not been completely snuffed out, they pass simultaneously not only beyond hope but also beyond pity. There is no concentration camp in the beautiful countryside, no torture chamber int eh palace of delight. Those creatures that still exist in an ex-human state, no longer reflecting their maker in any meaningful sense, can no longer excite in themselves or others the natural sympathy some feel even for the hardened criminal.

I am well aware that I have now wandered into territory that no one can claim to have mapped. Jesus, Christians believe, has been to hell and back but to say that is to stand gaping into the darkness, not to write a travel brochure for future visitors. The lat thing I wants is for anyone to suppose that I (or anyone else) know very much about all this. Nor do I want anyone to suppose I enjoy speculating in this manner. But I find myself driven, by the New Testament and the sober realities of this world, to this kind of a resolution to one of the darkest theological mysteries. I should be glad to be proved wrong  but not at the cost of the foundational claims that this world is the good creation of the one true God and that he will at the end bring about that judgment at which the whole of creation will rejoice.

N.T. Wright, on hell: A Preface

I finished Surprised by Hope. It took me reading a simpler N.T. Wright book, several starts and stops, and 2 1/2 years, but I got through, and it was worth it.

I want to offer a long excerpt that he wrote about hell, but in doing so I'll be cutting out the most important part of the book to share what was to me the most interesting. I read an interview where he said he almost wrote the book without this hell section, but so many people wanted to read his thoughts on the matter that he decided to include them. Before I get to the excerpt, let me share what the rest of the book's about.

Wright starts by showing all the ways that the myriad Christian churches are  confused about what happens after death, and that much of this confusion can be cleared up with some good understandings of history and early Christian thought. He explains the same point he made more thoroughly in Simply Christian: that the Bible's first readers understood heaven not as a place apart from earth, but as the place God's realm intersects with us. He devotes a whole chapter to the Jewish idea of bodily resurrection; explaining that the earliest Christians' hope was never to be in a heaven that was removed from this world, but to be raised with Christ after death, in an earth renewed. He delves into how early believers and non-believers both would have understood the first Easter, and applies sound thinking to the problems that some skeptics have with believing in His resurrection.

Here is a decent summation of what he has to say on life immediately after death:
"My proposition is that the traditional picture of people going to either heaven or hell as a one-stage postmortem journey...represents a serious distortion and diminution of the Christian hope. Bodily resurrection is not just one odd bit of that hope. It is the element that gives shape and meaning to the rest of the story we tell about God's ultimate purposes. If we squeeze it to the margins, as many have done by implication, or indeed if we leave it out altogether as some have done quite explicitly, we don't just lose an extra feature, like buying a car that happens not to have electrically operated mirrors. We lose the reason for working. Instead of talking vaguely about heaven and then trying to fit the language of resurrection into that we should talk with biblical precision about the resurrection and reorganize our language about heaven around that. What is more...when we do this we discover an excellent foundation, not, as some suppose, for an escapist or quietist piety (that belongs more with the traditional and misleading language about heaven), but for lively and creative Christian work within the present world. (p. 148)

So all of that is the point of the book.

But there's this really interesting part on hell, and that's why I'm writing this post. Why, I wonder, does hell so intrigue me?

I think because I long from deep inside me for judgment against the forces of evil that now reign in this world. And the evils of the world must surely not get off scotch free. Also, I think the way hell is "used," in the evangelical circles I tread must be wrong. Used, I mean like bait to get someone to say a sinner's prayer. Or used with certainty, like the speaker knows who's going and who's not.

This passage by N.T. Wright on hell is the best I've read on the subject. I think it gets to the heart of what the language in the Bible about judgment is all about. It  has a ring that I find congruent with the scripture. I'll finish typing out the rather long excerpt and I'll post it soon. I recommend printing it out, reading it with others, wrestling with it until it sinks in deep.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

3 things, totally unrelated


This is a picture of my Eli, who just turned this many:

This is a very good piece of writing about Halloween. It's by Jason Gray, a singer whom I've never heard sing, but who is a very good blogger.

This is another very good piece of writing on Christians' relationship to homosexuals. It's by Ron Sider, with whom I almost always agree about politics. He is the founder of Evangelicals for Social Action, which puts out the weekly "E-pistle," whose name I find very corny, but whose content I like.



Thursday, October 14, 2010

Before 6 this morning

This morning, at 5:50, I pulled my mini-van into a gas station. It was still dark out; cars and people were sparse.

My credit card wouldn't work so I headed inside to empty my wallet of cash for as much gas as it would buy. On the way in, the owner of a new, blue, Buick Rendezvous asked me if I had any spark plugs. I told him I didn't and asked what was wrong. He told me he needed a jump. I could hear from his speech that he was from the streets, and because this sort of talk just comes out sometimes I told him, "I gotchu when I come back out,"

"Alright, coo" he replied.

Once I started pumping, he double-checked anxiously, "Yo, chico, you outta here in a hurry or what?"

"Naw, man, I told you I gotchu. I'm just gonna pump here, then I'll pull over."

"Alright, then," he replied, and he went to pop the hood.

It took him a few minutes to connect the cables because he wouldn't put down  his thin, brown cigarillo. But we finally got it going, and I put the cables back in my nifty little white-boy, mini-van jumper cable bag.

As I moved towards my car, he raised himself up on his and thanked me the best he knew how. "Hey man," he shouted, "anything you need, I can get it for you."

My terse thanks made him think I didn't understand what he meant, which was drugs. So he called me over to his rolled down window, and he said to me, "Listen man, I can get you anything. Anything! Money, drugs, bitches. I can getchu bitches, man!" I guess he was right; I hadn't understood.

"Whatever you want, man. I mean, how's a man gonna turn down bitches?"

He misinterpreted my smirk as interested. "You want some bitches, don't you. I'm gonna getchu a  bitch."

"Naw, man, actually I don't," I told him, "I'm happily married."

"Really, man?" he asked, "that's coo den." He paused a moment and thought, "You know what, man? Tha's coo. You wanna know how I really feel from da bottom of my heart? I wish I was happily married, too. Man, I respect you for this, fo real. This means you just did this for...for...for..."

He searched for words, it seemed he didn't have a category for this sort of behavior. I finished his sentence. "just tryin' to help out a neighbor."

"Yeah man, thank you," he said. And we drove away to our worlds.