Ten years ago I published a
list of goals that I would strive to accomplish from 2010 – 2019. The hours I write in now are the last of that
decade, and mark my failure to meet almost every one of them. But I’m not even
a little disappointed.
Life has twisted and turned
dramatically in these last 10 years. On January 1, 2010, I was a husband,
father of three, Chicago Public Schools Special Education teacher, and
Evangelical Protestant Christian. Today, I am a husband, father of six (three
teenagers, a nine, seven, and three year old), Olivet Nazarene U. professor,
and Orthodox Christian. 10 years ago, I loved to read and discuss big ideas,
but mostly with a very small group of trusted friends. Toward the end of the last decade, my friend Chad
encouraged me to start a blog, and that helped to me find a voice – to spark a
few conversations, to force me to hammer out some ideas, and to declare to
myself (and to anyone who happened upon my blog) that I am a thinking person. (In
all sincerity, I didn’t realize this before the blog). Fast-forward. Today, I
read and write and discuss big ideas as part of my daily work. Indeed, designing activities and questions that elicit discussions and thoughtful responses is my
favorite part of university teaching.
Here’s how it works: multiple
times a week, I get to lead young adults in conversations that are fascinating,
about deeply important issues for our society, at the time when these young
adults are making decisions that will shape their own world for generations.
And it’s riveting. I know this may surprise some, but I find teaching at a
Christian college a truly robust academic “venue.” While polarization seems to
be a hallmark of our time, there is a true plurality of opinions and viewpoints
among Olivet students. For any topic – from human sexuality, to war in
Afghanistan, to global economic systems, to ethical garbage disposal – the classrooms at Olivet are full of
diverse, and diverse Christian opinions, and the students manage to listen
attentively and disagree respectfully at nearly every turn.
So there’s no shortage of
space for me to dive into big ideas, but in every instance, I want to keep my own
voice out. I may add a thought here or there, but I think that the students
learn best by articulating their own thinking, and no one wants to go to class
with Professsor Opinionated. I love being along for the rides of student
discussion, and even to push the rides along, but those rides are ultimately
not for me. So for the last few years, I’ve been mostly keeping to myself my own notions
God, work, family,
education, politics, or whatever else comes to mind.
I have
hesitated to share my thoughts in writing since becoming a professor. For one,
I’m not just a dude who thinks some thoughts anymore. I am affiliated with a
denominational university, which has funders, who may care what kind of stuff
this dude is putting out there. Next, I’ve been worried about being inaccurate.
Bearing the title of an academic means being careful with facts and sources, and it means writing for an audience, each of which slows down the writing/posting process. At times, I've wondered whether students will read my post and label me (either conservative or liberal,
depending on the topic) and turn off in my classes. So at first, I would write without
posting. Lately I’ve spent my time in
academic writing, which just isn’t that fun.
Of course, social media is a bad alternative and for a thousand reasons.
I’m realizing that
this shift away from posting personal processing is a problem. It occurred to
me the other night at dinner. I was
telling the kids that I was needing a bumper sticker for my car. (Oh yeah, 10
years ago I walked to work; now I drive). The bumper sticker would say: “Love
thy neighbor, boycott Amazon” with the possibility of replacing the comma with
a semicolon or a colon or leaving out the punctuation altogether. Now what I told the kids
was an obvious fact: I do need this bumper sticker. But my teenage daughter responded with
no understanding. Why would I be so mean to such a helpful company? And couldn’t I just be
positive? And how can I argue with free shipping?
Oh dear! Have I failed to
articulate to my Suzie how boycotting amazon is an act of hope?
Have I neglected to teach her about the dangers, toils, and snares free things
from companies, particularly free things that undercut local businesses by
giving away world-burning fuel for shipping on trucks and planes like it’s parade
candy? Of course, Suzie is welcome to
disagree with father opinionated. But her surprise showed me that my silence has created a vacuum. And amazon always beats a vacuum.
in search of a space to create thought pieces that I can share with my own kids . . . in search of a thought
sandbox that’s different from the college classroom, and from
academic journals, I find myself needing a space to think publically: to take
up the task of turning ideas into words, and sharing them with all who may click.
Let’s start here: I will post
my 2010 New Decade’s Resolution below, with an updated comment next to each
resolution. And then, just to keep you all (Chad, mom) reading, I’ll write yet
another resolution at the end.
2010 New Decade Resolutions
Family
1. I resolve to take my wife on weekend getaways 20 times – Utter Failure
2. I will coach a baseball team that with Isaac, Suzy and Eli on
the roster. Partial success. The 2013
Little Village Rays won the title with 9yo Isaac pitching out of his mind, and
6yo Eli turning every walk into a double. Suzie played for my coaching friend
Gaby in a different division.
3. I resolve to live with with my family in a poor country for an
extended period (a month or more). Fail
4. I resolve to try to teach each child to play an instrument. Fail. But how was I to know that the most
talented three musicians in our family were yet to be born?
5. I resolve to allow my children to learn to grow and raise food
on a farm (I would say to teach them, but I don’t know how to do this myself). This is a fail, but I’m proud to say that
they can all work.
6. I resolve to take the family camping 10 times. 40%
Community
1. I resolve to develop meaningful relationships with 4 families
(not just the kids) on our block. Success,
thought I don’t know what 2010 Brian meant by “meaningful”
2. To lead a Bible Study or discussion group with neighbors Depends on how I was defining "neighbors"
3. To train one neighbor as a Christian disciple; Umm, success. I think when I wrote this I
was thinking of someone who didn’t already know Jesus. I wasn’t thinking then
that almost all of my neighbors were baptized Catholics; a fact that carries
considerably more weight for me now than it did then.
4. To become a board member for the Little Village baseball league.
Success!
Spiritual
1. To fast for two weeks from media 10 times Success
2. To fast for two weeks from food and media 10 times Orthodox fast differently. You don’t get to
set your own terms.
3. To do a 40 day food fast. See
#2.
4. To study 10 books of the Bible (like with commentaries and
what-not) Fail
5. To focus study on Theophostic prayer, and develop a ministry of
prayer with others Success, though it’s
been a while!
Physical
1. To bat .500 for the Little Village Lugnuts Fail, but I sure miss those Sunday afternoons!
2. To pitch a no-hitter for the Little Village Lugnuts Fail
3. To beat Siri Greeley in ultimate Frisbee once Fail
4. To work out for a period of 6 months, once Fail
The Arts
1. To practice my cello 20 days out of one month. Fail
2. To finish the canons of: Wendell Berry (just his fiction), C.S.
Lewis, Leslie Newbigin and Frederick Buechner. What a list. Success on Berry; I’ll never finish the others, and that’s
fine.
3. To read the Koran and the Catechism of the Catholic Church Fail on the Koran, partial success of the
Catechism
4. To write 10 songs - Fail
5. To add 100 postings to this here blog – Success
6. To send 20 hand-written letters – 25%
Work
1. I resolve to continue working as a Special Education teacher
for these ten years – Success; same
field, different role.
2. To achieve National Board Certification – Success
3. To come up with some more goals for work; Success, I now have a zillion of them.
2020 New Year’s Resolution
A decade’s worth of
resolutions presupposed far too much agency on my part. So instead, and as a
means to find this slipping voice, let's keep this simple: I resolve to write 12 new blog posts in
2020. 11 more to go.
Happy New Year,
