my first song

I Googled my name yesterday morning to see if my new blog would show up. And for the first time in like 50 searches since the history of the internet, there i was, on the top of the search page.

It freaked me out. I felt exposed. I felt scared of all the scrutiny that most people around the globe were probably putting me through.

Moments like these of intense illogical fear only come to me when I am not relying on Jesus. They only hit me when others' responses are defining me and not Him. Since doing the Google search I have felt like I am panting for air and hiding. These emotions are the same ones I felt once when I wrote this song about the fear of being exposed; of putting myself out there. Here are the song's lyrics.

I'd rather succeed at nothing
Than fail at trying something at all
There's a safety in staying in safety
I'd rather not fly than fall

Like the first time I jumped off the high dive
Or asked Jaime Zaidjzeck to the prom
Or the first that I kissed my wife
Or sang you this my first song

Now I'm glad I did all of these things
I'm more of a man for it
But the throat-bump I feel as I sing
Forces me to admit

That I'd rather succeed at nothing
Than fail at trying something at all
There's a safety in staying in safety
I'd rather not fly than fall